Getting started

Don't expect words of wisdom or earth shattering revelations, just my thoughts and observations about living in Ottawa, being a public servant and trying to live life every day to its fullest

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Taboo - A friend recently sent me the opening lines from a Desperate Housewives episode: "It was a long time since Bri was a little girl, but she could still remember everything she had ever been told about sex:  her grandma informed her that it was a woman's burden, her minister warned her that it was a sin, her teacher taught her that it was unhealthy.  Yes, everyone told Bri that her sexual urges were dangerous, but no one ever taught her how to get rid of them"

She followed it with the comment "Interesting encapsulation of what we teach girls." So today I am going to talk about sex!

First I am going to ask if people still teach this to girls today - and I suppose they must as I have friends who will not talk about it, and still feel shameful for wanting (or even enjoying) it. Sure Sex in the City taught people that discussing female orgasms is fine and that satisfying a man is not satisfaction in itself. But still there seems to be an undertone that only women like Samantha, and all the steriotypes she embodies, can go about brazingly demanding it.

Why would anyone want to get rid of sexual urges? It seems wrong to deny something that is so natural - heck, most organisms do it all the time without shame. It seems the messaging is to try and stop people having sex too early, but maybe instead of spreading lies about sex, what really needs to be taught is the truth.

The truth about sex is that it is great ... when you do it with the right person for the right reasons (and sometimes that is just to scratch an itch). But the real truth about sex is that there are rights, responsibilities and consequences. People need to know what the consequences are ... the REAL ones ... before they embark on this magical journey. The truth is that some of the consequences are down right scary and involve disease, unwanted pregnancies, emotional and even physical devastation. This is what people need to be told ... not to scare them away from it, but to ensure they enter into it with eyes wide open and are in a position to make decisions.

When I was 18 and starting University, many of my friends had never had a sex-education class in their life (Catholic school system). What little information they had was so wrong that I knew better before puberty - and consequently, they didn't always make the best decisions because they had no one to ask and were so ashamed. Beyond basic health and safety, my female friends didn't know what to expect or that they deserved a respectful partner in bed.

People tend to follow and embrace what gives them pleasure - and lets face it, what is there not to enjoy. The younger you are, the harder it is to demonstrate self control and not experiment with something that everyone else seems to be doing and which is in the media all the time. But what these children don't know is what their rights are and what happens after.

Now - I am off for chocolate!

1 comment:

  1. first, i can't believe that it took you this long to talk about sex ;)
    second, i think that what they meant by 'get rid of' was more 'find a sweaty man 10 years younger then you, rip his clothes off, and get him to pleasure you', but no matter, that she wasn't taught exactly what you're saying here, that sex is good and fun, and doesn't make you a dirty whore.

    ReplyDelete