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Don't expect words of wisdom or earth shattering revelations, just my thoughts and observations about living in Ottawa, being a public servant and trying to live life every day to its fullest

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ba-humbug (my Scrooge moment) - I am going to start this by making it clear I hate Christmas! I hate cheesy Christmas carols that blare from speaker systems everywhere you go, the over emphasis on buying stuff because you need to give gifts, the crowded malls, the forced "vacation" and expectation that this time must be spent with family, the over-eating, the canned merriment, the uncomfortable work parties and other people's children. See - I am a real Scrooge.

But there are things about the season I do love - I love giving gifts for the sake of giving gifts. I often have my Christmas shopping done months in advance because I see something that makes me think of someone and I get it. I love sitting by the fire and watching it snow with my stereo playing Canadian independent music. I love the meals my mother cooks and her cookies. I love everything that society has stolen from Christmas when Hallmark took over the holiday.

Christmas is a stressful time of year. There are expectations on how it is supposed to be, where you are supposed to be and how you are supposed to feel. And generally at this time of year I need to break out of the box more than usual, rebel against how commercial the season has become and I find it hard to embrace the spirit. I really hate Christmas.

... and then there was Tuesday night ...

Tuesday the weather was perfect; snowing all day and not too cold and I got back on my board and rode for the first time this year. I pushed it and had some fantastic runs, breaking out of my usual routine, I did it for me and for the thrill, I did it to get out of my head - to break from the box. The snow was falling, I got home late; tired and sweaty with my snowboard gear strewn across my dinning room. There were carols on the radio - but not the overdone ones that sound tiny and hollow - real carols, old fashioned carols, sung without accouterments.  And instead of going straight to bed, I sat for a while with a tea, listened to the carols and watched the snow fall. It was a magical moment and really what I think the season should be about. I had a Scrooge moment.

Instead of running around and trying to create the perfect Christmas. Instead of getting hung up on the food, and the gifts, I am going to sit and be. Listen to music, watch the snow fall, take my time and spend it focusing on the magic of the moment. Time that I am not going to impose expectations on, time to just let life happen.