I got laser eye surgery. It is incredible. As a total chicken, I was very nervous but it was actually painless. I had some discomfort for a few days, it felt like dirt in my eyes, but my eyes are fantastic now. I have better than 20/20 vision and my eyes are still "recovering". There are moments late at night when my brain tells me I should take our my contact lenses; if I can see and I am not wearing glasses, I must be wearing lenses. 22+ years of not being able to see is a hard habit to break.
Clear vision is incredible. I am so excited about the snowboarding season, swimming, scuba diving, camping, biking, canoeing and all the other great things I love to do outside without having to worry about losing a contact lens. I can't wait to fall asleep in a tent and being able to see the stars out of the vestibule or sitting on a chair lift watching people below not worrying about getting grit in my eyes. I love watching the snow flakes outside my window and the leaves on ground as I hike the green-belt.
But clear vision is also a metaphor for my life right now. On the day of the surgery I met with a wise woman who asked me what I wanted to see with my new vision. And I know that she wasn't talking about the physical world around me that I can see whenever I want without searching for my glasses, she was talking about me. What do I want to see and what will I focus on? Good questions.
So what am I focusing on? It might sound conceited and selfish, but I am focusing on me. I am taking this opportunity to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I am using my clear vision to try and paint a picture of who I believe I am. Recent experiences have led to others shaping this picture for me, and I started to believe who they thought I was - but I am not that person and I am using my clear vision to remind myself that.